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Pot Thought is Back -- Sorry, mangs.

Sorry for the long gaps between posts, and apologies to you that sent in your excellent pot thoughts to no response. I've been busy working for an entertainment firm famous for keeping its employees busy. But I'm back now and you have my attention. Thanks, PT'-ers.



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The little dog laughed, to see such a sight...

"I'm sure animals can experience "laughing" but maybe in ways we don't see or understand but I was stoned and realized that DOGS could be laughing when they are panting!?"

laughingdog

Thanks, Orlando F. URL: facebook.com/orangejuece

(btw, your dog is awesome)
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Mini Me

"What does Vern Troyer's poop look like?"
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with chunks, BITCH

"I've got cookies....and nobody is fucking with us."


Fuckin' A, right, ZOB.

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Time portal

"The THC kicks in, and it's like staring into a time portal, but not going in. It slows down time, but at the same time, you have periphreal vision of around the portal, which still moves in normal time." -Seanston

Thanks, Seanston. At first we were like, "Huh?"...but then we read it again and were all like, "Oh, yeah! Exactly!"
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Pissed.

My pee knows way too much about me.
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........

"pot....natures pause button"

You have a future in advertising, Anon.
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True.

I was just about to send you a Pot Thought. But by the time I got here, I forgot what I was going to write.

(Thanks, Adam!)
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Road Warrior

The worst possible vehicle for the Ayatollah of Rock 'n' Rolla: VW Bug.
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Good question, Dawg.

"What the fuck does 'pitchy' mean?"

Beats us, Anonymous.
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Steakasaurus

"Only rich people can afford to eat dinosaur meat..."

Thanks, Kimmy!

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Re: El Pollo Loco

"Do they really just serve the crazy ones?"

Good question, Willy.

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Sage words.

Know why people will always smoke weed?

Because it's fun.

-Submitted by Anonymous
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We admit it..this IS a pot thought.

"im hungryy"

Thanks for sharing, becca!
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Kneeto!

Most of us know the mostly American saying "if your knees are ticklish you are girl/guy crazy...if you are ticklish on the back of your knees, are you gay?"

Submitted by: newbie

...and thanks for the comic, newb!

stoner
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Brain Food.

What if we could eat our own heads?

Submitted by: Anonymous

Well, Anon...We can. The trick is, you have to eat your mouth last.
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Watermelon: The Ultimate Munchie

Watermelon is the ulimate fruit. Dr. M. J. Cheeba said watermelon is superior to many other foods in the way that it "cures cottonmouth and combats mad munchies." In the summer, it keeps an adventurous stoner hydrated and satisfied. Cheers to watermelon.

---
Thanks, Kailey! It is both delicious and nutritious.
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D.A.R.Y.L

What would happen if the Terminator met the little kid robot from the movie DARYL? Would he feel a fatherly connection, or would he just waste him?

Submitted by: Ickysticky13
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Beads & Batteries

i was with a couple friends smoking this stuff called "good charlotte"... real laughy weed... my friend paul suddenly gets up and grabs a duracel battery, and sets it in the middle of the floor... then he grabs some of those mardi gras bead necklaces... he starts throwing the necklaces at the battery, yelling "take off your copper top!"... we laughed for three hours...

Thanks, Mack!
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Forked.

My fork has four prongs. If it had five prongs, would it have been a fivek.


Submitted by: Barney
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Sticky Situation

I work in a building in Manhattan, and there always seems to be gum
stuck everywhere - people finish chewing their gum and they jam it
where ever they can find a crack. When I saw the movie "I Am Legend" I
thought it would be funny if the buildings all collapsed except for my
building because all the gum is holding it up.

Does gum decompose? Or is it like sap, where they find prehistoric
mosquitos frozen in chunks of it thousands of years later. If it is,
does that mean something like Jurassic Park can happen thousands of
years from now, where some race of creatures will clone me from dna
found in a wad of my spit in an old piece of gum?

Submitted by: Anonymous
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One the bright side, they're dead :D

The problem with getting old: by the time you're old enough to get revenge on that gray-haired asshole teacher from junior high, they're already dead. : (

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Running Man

It just occurred to me: I cannot do the dance, the "Running Man" without biting my lower lip. I try, but it's like a reflex that I cannot overcome. I'm white, by the way.
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Back to the Future

When I was a kid, I thought that "Back to the Future" was one of the greatest movies ever made. The other night, I caught a few minute of "Back to the Future II" on cable and it dawned on me that the name of the town Marty lives in, "Hill Valley", is a joke. I was 10 years old when I first saw Back to the Future. I'm 32 now.
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High Rolling Santa

Those inflatable Christmastime lawn decorations are moving from "obnoxious" to "inexplicable". This one belongs to one of my neighbors. I'm no poker expert, but I think that his bugged-out eyes are what they call a "tell".

santapoker
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Paris Hilton Explained

You know how some native tribes eschew having their picture taken because they believe it steals a piece their soul?

What if they're right? And what if every time a paparazzi took a picture of a celebrity, it removed a bit of that person's soul? It would explain a lot.

Submitted by Anonymous
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Chickenbutt!

My friends and I had a running gag, where you would get someone to say "what?", and then you'd say back real quick, "chicken butt!". One night we waz stoned and had a big talk about whether you could get Jesus to fall for the gag. Everyone agreed he wouldn't fall for it, but we weren't sure how he would get out of it. Some guys thought he would say "what?" and you'd look at him and just wouldn't be able to say "chicken butt". Others thought he would say something super-cool that would suck the wind out of you saying, "chicken butt", but couldn't decide exactly what he'd say. Anyhow, one of those deep talks you only have after smokin' the MJ.


Thanks, Anonymous! You know, I was thinking; Jesus seems like he's a pretty cool guy. Maybe he'd go ahead and purposely fall for it because he knew it would make you laugh.
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We're gonna go with "yes".

Has anyone's face every really gotten "stuck like that"?

Submitted by: EV

Hillary Clinton
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Elf Yourself was a Pot Thought waiting to happen.

Pot Thought getsElfed Romero-style.Picture 10
Feel free to send us your own perversions of this corporate-style holiday e-cheer!
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Wendy's

i was stoned and watching tv, and this commercial was on for wendys with this asshole wearing a red wendy wig. I realized at that moment, holy shit, dave thomas really is dead

Submitted by: smokabowl420 (This one made us laugh out loud...then we were like, "Oh man, that's so sad."..then we laughed out loud some more.)
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Senior Management Spits Rhymes for Singapore's Media Development Authority

I'd make fun of them, but I can't really think of a rhyme for "internal systems integration", either.



As you can see, everyone's dropping some corny moves, with one notable exception: Pot Thought's newest hero, Amy Chua, MDA Director of Media Content. Where'd you learn to flag, Amy? Way to represent, girl!

AmyFlagginPT
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God

They say that God is in everything. But what if everything is in God?

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was a lot easier when the Indians brought all the food.

Submitted by: DSR
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One Got Fat

Nine children in disturbing monkey masks meet horrific ends on their bikes. Untroubled by their deaths, their surviving friend eats all of their lunches.

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You mean he doesn't???

"Do you ever wonder what the show Numb3rs would be like if Charlie Epps smoked pot?"

Thanks, Ninjalo!
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PotThought.Com Is Live

Pot Thought is on-line...and it only took 2 years! (Hey, we were busy).

We have widened the scope of our Pot Thought project to include the people of the internets. We invite you to share your Pot Thoughts and any related prose, poetry, photos, artwork, etc. (For more info, click the "Pot Thought Explained" link)

In the interest of making this a more fun and enriching experience, we’re going to include some other content in the near future that you might find interesting. 420 Minutes will be a forum for important cannabis-related scientific and cultural issues, such as medical usage, decriminalization and “Who on TV is Totally High?” (I’m looking at you, Best Week Ever’s Doug Benson). Ask A Stoner will be a place where you may pose any question you wish to our panel of pothead pundits. In Sensinema we will share with you some of favorite things to watch in an altered state. We’ll also have a to some Links to sites that are useful and funny, whether you’re high or not (but really, visit them while you’re high).

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Afrocentric

What if everyone had afros, and a persons status in life would be demonstrated by the size of their afros. Kids would have little tiny afros, and office managers would have afros the size of beach balls, and the president of the United States would have an afro so huge that it would require the help of secret service agents to support it.

Submitted by: DSR
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Soap Conspiracy

In soap commercials, they always show someone using the soap and getting a full lather going. I always thought this was how you used soap while you were taking a shower, that you had to get a full lather. It wasn’t until I was stoned that I realized, they want you to think this is how to use soap, because if you use it that way, you will use more soap.

Submitted by: DSR
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MTV

Someday we'll be able to trace the fall of our civilization to the day that MTV stopped playing music videos and starting showing reality shows.

Submitted by: Eenie
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Licensed to Il

At any moment, if I pointed in the right direction, I could be pointing at Kim Jong-Il.

Submitted by: Anonymous
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:(

What if in the future all real trees are eventually replaced by those cell phone towers that are disguised to look like trees?

Submitted by: Poki
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Smokey Smurf

My friends and I were thinking, maybe when you go to hell, you become a smurf, and live in a smurf village with a lot of irritating other smurfs. And maybe all the evil people in the world are also there as smurfs, but they have really benign smurf names to identify their natures. Like, Hitler would be 'Angry Smurf', and Jeffery Dahmer would be 'Hungry Smurf.'

Submitted by: Trip
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Optimistic

PToptimusprimesbro
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Meow Meow

What if a guy was raised somewhere where he never saw any kind of animals, only humans. What if he then saw a cat? Would he perceive the cat as a weird, tiny, hairy mutant human?

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Chipmunks

Why are they called “Alvin and the Chipmunks?” Since Alvin is himself a chipmunk, shouldn’t they just be “The Chipmunks?"

Submitted by: DSR
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Butterfly vs. Moth

Butterflies and Moths are so similar, you have to figure that they evolved from some common ancestor way back in time. My friends and I were arguing whether the ancestor lived during the day or night. In other words, is a butterfly a moth that learned to live during the day? Or is a moth a butterfly that learned to live at night?

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Pussy Patrol

Security Cats. 20 cats are way scarier than 2 dogs.

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Woody Allen

I just realized that Woody Allen will never be able to leave Soon-Yi.
If he does, and finds a new girlfriend, he will inevitably say to the new girlfriend, "See you soon!" and she'll say 'My name is Laura... Soon is your ex-wife, asshole!

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Laughing Dog

Maybe animals laugh in different ways from us. So maybe animals are laughing all the time at us and we just don’t understand that’s what they’re doing. Maybe when a dog is panting he is laughing.

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Dark Chocolate

At the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka selects Charlie as his successor to take over the Chocolate Factory, which always seemed lame to me, because all the employees of the factory are oompa-loompas, yet leaving the factory to an ooma-loompa seems like something Willy Wonka would not even consider. I imagine that there are high-ranking oompa-loompas in Marketing or Operations who will resent Charlie for taking over the factory. I also imagine Willy Wonka having a half-oompa-loompa son with a girl oompa-loompa, a son who has grown up with a lot of responsibility in the factory, but who resents his father because his father will never think of leaving the factory to him.

Submitted by: DSR
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It can fertilize, too

Cow lawnmower. An environment-friendly alternative to the riding lawnmower...much slower, though.

Submitted by Eric
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S'more Evil

Do fire demons roast marshmallows on each other?

Submitted by: Anonymous
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Celestial

If suns and stars could think the same way humans can, and they believed in God, would the God they believed in be more powerful than the God humans believe in?

Submitted by: Oddly Godly
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Cetacea

Does a baleen whale know when it's eating plankton?

Submitted by: JK
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Laughing Cat

What if cats could laugh?

Submitted by: Melissa
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Hummingbird

I read an article that said people feel like a song is a “slow song” or a “fast song” depending on how the beat of the song compares to their heart beat. Then I read someplace else that the hearts of hummingbirds beat at something like 1000 times a minute. So does that mean that all of our music sounds slow to a hummingbird?

Submitted by: Poki
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Fart Ninja

We came up with the idea of a “fart-ninja” – a person who is skilled at getting others to be blamed for their farts. So, like a person in the room will let out a small audible fart, but at the same time the fart ninja will rip a smelly, silent fart, perfect synchronized with the small fart.

Submitted by: Jesse
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Beck

What if you met Beck and he was straight gangster? That'd be funny as hell.

Submitted by: Anonymous
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